They're everywhere...

How the world changes for pretty girls

Any hot blooded male has probably noticed that when girls are around, the way you think changes dramatically. regardless of whether you know them, are likely to ever see them again or speak the same language, most guys fall prey to this warped perspective.

Here are some examples of simple scenarios, and how your thinking is changed by a pair of fluttering eyelids.

Sitting next to you on the train

Anyone Else:    "Oh shit there's a smelly probable serial killer in my personal space.

                           Dear god when will it end?"

Girl:                     "Maybe our eyes will meet and then we'll get married!"

Sending excessive smileys and use of the non-word "LOL" in texts

Anyone Else:    "You complete cretin.

                           I now probably hate you as much in real life as I do via text."

 Girl:                   "awww.

                           She clearly just wants to be friends with the whole world."

Borrowing (stealing) Clothing

Anyone Else:    "You conniving asshole!

                              I may kill your favourite pet for this"

Girl:                    " Well I never really liked that £80 hoodie anyway"

Having likes/interests that radically clash with your own

Anyone Else:    "I not only disagree with you, but your entire existence.

                           The fact that you are alive makes me believe Darwin is spinning in his grave"

Girl:                    "I  like the wolf guy in twilight"

Annoying favours

Anyone Else:      "No.

                            I have important things to do like contemplate the awesomeness of being 

                            nobody's bitch"

Girl:                     "So what time does mittens like to be sung to sleep?"

Interrupting important social activities like gaming and drinking  

Anyone Else:      "You are currently unimportant in my life.

                             Unless you're going to contribute, prepare to be ignored"

Girl:                      "Sure I've got 5 minutes "

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