How to make the atmosphere of a small space, much worse

We've all been in small, crowded places with strangers, such as crowded trains, tubes, buses and lifts.
As they are not only annoying, but also boring, here are some ways to make what ever journey you're undertaking more interesting:

• Complain loudly about how crowded it is in here - be sure to ask people if they've noticed
• Pass out sexual health leaflets
• See how much skin on skin contact you can achieve
• Fart loudly - stare down anyone who looks at you
• Attempt a series of stretches on the grounds that you can get cramp from standing still for too long
• Fail to discreetly tell other passengers that you suspect another passenger hasn't showered in a while
• Loudly state: "well this is awkward"
• Chose one person - stare at them
• Release bees - lots of bees
• (lifts only) As the lift begins to rise, put one hand in the air like superman and exclaim "to the skies!"
• See how many times you can revolve on the spot before the journey ends
• Record all your thoughts on the journey so far - using a Dictaphone
• See how much clothing you can remove before you are stopped
• Clumsily grope people on the grounds you stumbled - make it clear this is not the case
• Attempt non verbal seduction
• Attempt very verbal seduction
• Put headphones in, and play loud music from a concealed source - fail to notice people's complaints as you bop along
• Swoon
• "you know, we're only a few layers of clothing away from an orgy" - followed by a wink
• Attempt to prepare a substantial meal - bring cooking equipment if possible
• Inform people, for their own safety, that you have "a condition". When they ask what, grin maniacly and say "you'll see soon enough"
• Hold a number of referendums on various contentious topics
• Attempt to start a brake dancing contest
• Clutch a stranger and say "If we crash and die, will you hold me?"
• "I just want to let everyone know, i'm no longer contagious"
• Begin humming a favourite tune, built in volume, and then explode into the chorus, complete with air guitar
• Attempt to bless people, using various holy substances if possible
• Challenge someone to a duel for invading your personal sovereign space
• "Has anyone seen my bomb? I put it down around here somewhere"
• Ask people if they know what the correct procedure for dealing with a flash flood is
• Accuse people of stealing your oxygen
• Count out loud
• Try and escape

Author's note:

I wrote this on my phone while sharing a space just large enough to fit a small horse in (or just over 2 pandas) with approximately 10 strangers on a long train journey.

One man looked over my shoulder to see what I was writing, and when he'd seen, he looked at me imploringly, as if begging me not to actually try any of these.

I gave a sinister grin in response.