A Guide to New Zealand

Having finally found out how to turn my keyboard the right way up (turns out it was less to do with the keyboard, and more to do with what doctors would later call "a never before seen levels of sheep tranquilizer in the bloodstream"), I can now embark on a serious blog post from the land down under (the other one, that's not Australia (which is coincidentally New Zealand' s entry in the "US government world fact book")).

Anyway: New Zealand - The Roundup

Geography
Situated a convenient 18 hours from New York, it is an oddly shaped landmass, formed of two islands, both of which will claim to be the larger if you listen to the locals. It was discovered, like every other place which has "new" in the title, a man on a ship, long ago, before gay was a term meaning mildly annoying, and before even gay meant homosexual - basically the dark ages. The name itself is curious, as nobody knows where the original "Zealand" actually is, and most historians believe it may have been near Atlantis.

People
New Zealand has a remarkably small population, most of whom are surprisingly friendly, especially if you are wearing wool. Like all ex-colonies, they speak english slightly wrong, but on the whole they are easy to understand, and if you are not sure is going on, smile and mutter something bad about aussies

Exports
New Zealand exports, wool, musical coemdy duos and general sense of wellbeing to the rest of the world.
That is all.
Oh yeah and orcs and that

Activities

New Zealand has a great many non sheep-based activities, the most famous of which, involves hurling yourself of bridges or other high objects. Over the years it has become increasingly popular, but the real spike in popularity came in the 1980's, when bungy cord was invented, and the tagline "once in a lifetime experience" became a lot more of a generalization.

Wildlife
Mainly wool based.
Differs from Australia in that most animals have in and around the right number of legs, and very little of them kill you.
Their national animal is the Kiwi, a bird so finely honed by evolution, that it is flightless, quite stupid, and looks like it is wearing a fake beak, a move which i wouldn't put past it as a means of disuising itself from predators.
The Kiwi is possibly one of the worst national animals to choose, as its nearly extinct, and lives mainly in special santucaries - which is a lovely national image.